Let’s be Real – It’s Not Always Easy To Be Optimistic

A Business Professional in one of my Emotional Intelligence workshops said, “Joanna, I feel strong, clear, rational and optimistic one day, and then knocked off-center the next. How do I remain optimistic despite everything going on in the world, plus all the challenges at work, and at home?” Great question. And the real answer is - I don't! It's not realistic to feel happy and hopeful all of the time. However, I have learned how to better navigate life's ups and downs and I'll share with you how I do it in a way that is practical and realistic.

First, let's define optimism. Optimism is “the ability to remain positive despite setbacks” as defined by the EQ-i 2.0 Assessment by MHS that we use to help Leaders increase awareness of their current strengths and opportunities in effectively managing their emotions while under stress. It says that when we are optimistic, it helps us persevere, to be motivated, and to inspire others.

But let’s be real – it’s not always easy to just BE optimistic. And sometimes it can even seem naive and even ignorant to the terrible things going on in the world. So let's just breathe through that for a moment.

After the workshop and still digesting the question about remaining optimistic, I went to my local studio to practice yoga. This is what I like to do after a day at work because it helps me to connect and reflect. I was pretty excited when it came time to set up for Vrikshasana (standing tree pose) where you ground yourself on one foot, while placing the sole of the other foot above or below the knee of your standing leg and your arms rise up to the sky. I was excited for this pose because I just wanted to do something I was already good at. There’s comfort in that and sometimes you've just gotta do something you find easy so you can breathe again and restore your confidence.

So what happened during my very best pose in yoga? I FELL… not the dainty kind of tapping the raised foot to the ground type-thing. I mean I fell right into the person beside me and knocked them and their metallic water bottle to the ground. The crash made so much awful noise in an otherwise tranquil space that more people lost focus and fell out of their pose too. I was horrified! I’ve NEVER seen anyone fall down to the ground in yoga … till now. Disclaimer, since that time I have fallen over again and again! But at that time, as a recovering perfectionist (thank you Brené Brown), I took a deep breath, got back up and kept going, despite my face flushing red. It came time to lie down for Savasana (corpse pose) at the end of class, and here’s what the teacher said to the class:

“Whatever happened, whatever didn’t happen… let it go. Why is it that one day you feel the postures are easy and another day it feels challenging? Yoga is a daily practice. Enlightenment is a daily practice. Health is a daily practice. Contentment is a daily practice.”

My takeaway is that optimism is a daily practice. Some days it just doesn’t seem so easy to naturally wake up, leap out of bed, see the positive in everything, and stay optimistic. So have patience with yourself and remember that often the things you get really good at, you practiced. And even when you are very, very good at something, there are days where it will be hard. Even the great Michael Jordan missed 9,000 shots in his career. We must find the grace for ourselves to practice when we can, rest when we need to, and not expect to be perfect.

As long as we continue our practice, we will find the positive, the clarity, the strength and the optimism again, and again, and again. Maybe not the second you open your eyes, but maybe you will find it during your practice, or in my case, during the fall.

Here are just some of the things I do to practice optimism:·    

• Write a list of what brings you bliss and do more of THAT (i.e. being in nature, being with a companion, cuddling a pet, listening to music)
• Let yourself be real – feel what you need to feel, be patient with yourself, and let the emotions give you data about your values and boundaries·    
• Read positive stories, books, movies (i.e. The Buddha’s Brain by Dr. Rick Hanson is my favourite book)·    
• Have positive visual cues around your space (e.g. My sheets even have positive messages)·    
• Reach out to people who tend to seek the positive (your network, community, friends, family, Influencers)·    
• Replace negative thoughts with gratitude – you will always find what you seek·    
• Tell someone how much you appreciate them and why·    
• Volunteer·    
• Breathe deep, juicy, full breaths·    
• Go outside·    
• Travel
• Yoga, spin class and other forms of exercise always make me feel better – even when I fall

Let me know how you practice optimism and let's be that spark for each other whenever we can.

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